| highlight of my uk trip |
[24 Dec 2008|10:55pm] |
throwing my cigarette butt right outside buckingham palace after the change of guard parade. oh yeah.
|
|
| have to say this before i forget |
[21 Oct 2008|01:16pm] |
this is hiliarious. i dreamt last night i had a new haircut and BOY I LOOKED DAMN GOOD. now if only i remembered exactly how it looked like the next time i go cut my hair..
i like it when i get a lot of sleep, its a wonder how much lots of rest and a good bath can do for a person. have to make a mental note now to sleep early each night... although i've done this before but never kept to it, this time i think i'll try again. i should be slightly more disciplined now.
still quite tired.. heh.
|
|
| meaningless post |
[19 Oct 2008|10:15pm] |
i need some kind of intellectual guilty pleasure... something to take my mind off studying yet not sink into total decadence.
rubik's cube you say? i hate rubic's cube. guess i'll have to continue seeking..
|
|
| its been so long! |
[19 Oct 2008|04:14am] |
as i typed my livejournal username i almost keyed in my uni username. as i typed the password i also almost keyed in my uni... well i think its really been very long since i wrote anything here. not that university has been busy... exactly, but theres just no inclination to write anything. no earth-shaking breakthroughs, no big news, no juicy gossip... okay i lied about the last part, but really gossiping face-to-face is way more fun than blogging it. and besides nobody knows everybody so even if i write... you get the idea.
since the last entry i've stopped working, started uni proper, and finally gotten used to school life, in that order. i can't say uni's been everything i expected it to be considering i wasn't expecting anything at all, but i get by and its not half-bad... so yeap things are pretty smooth. its not like i've been studying(there is the inclination... although thats where it ends) but at least im not plagued by depression or some of the other weird problems others have, so while i might get bad grades at least i'm... happy? haha don't even know if that makes sense.
of cuz i better get started on studying soon. less than 3 weeks left to the exams. add to the fact i know almost zero about all my modules... even if i bank on luck this time its not going to help much. this might actually be a good reason to feel depressed later on.. but hey, that's later on.
i think life(or goals in life, or calling in life.. whatever) becomes a little bit clearer each time you go further, and whatever emotional or mental knots will slowly start to unravel as you grow older too. i grew up a little in army, and under certain unique circumstances in uni have changed too. its probably for the better, i hope. although there are times i wish the 'growth' process would speed up but at least im not heading into mental regression or anything so... for what it's worth things are not really bad, i guess.
this entry would probably be slightly more coherent if it wasn't bloody 450am right now.
|
|
| The Dark Knight |
[27 Jul 2008|03:45pm] |
Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...and so we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...a dark knight.
Oh my god I loved this line.
|
|
| post-ord life is pretty good. |
[17 Apr 2008|02:02am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Queen - Somebody To Love |
] |
yeah, it really is. although honestly it did suck for a short while at the beginning. a bit of the not-so-used-to-freedom feel, somehow there was seemingly no value to anything i did, and just felt... pretty out-of-sorts. i could just stay at home and not feel like doing anything, it almost felt wrong to be so free.
and then i snapped out of it. i realized isn't this what i've been hoping for?? i didn't count down for 5 months just to feel listless and wait for each day to pass.. and so, well, i started 'doing' things. i tried to remember the things i fantasized about doing after ord-ing and made a point of actually making it happen. so i tried reading this whole stack of books i bought last year(but never actually got down to reading) and playing the piano and jogging and at least make it past the headlines of the newspapers.. it was pretty weird at first, but then i got used to it(for the better!) and somewhen in between, i finally felt like a full civilian again =D
i've also been gainfully employed now, so i think this completes my ccc(civilian conversion course hahaha). the funny thing is when i look back the whole 2 years(almost) of ns seems pretty surreal.. as though, just a very very long dream. strangely i have slightly more vivid recollection of post-a-lvl times than actual memories of army itself. maybe my conversion is too great, but i simply cannot understand some of the things that happened in ns now and why i did them. feels like, the kind of things you only do in dreams. heh.
not sure if that's a good thing.. but anyway life's pretty good now =) work is mundane but manageable, and everything else feels pretty much in control. i at least manage to read past the headlines now, and at the end of the day... well it doesn't really feel like i withered it away anymore. not that i gain any sense of satisfaction from my work, but there is some semblance of order and moving in the right direction now(whatever that may be haha).
the only downside is i'm sleeping really late each night, and i have to wake up early every morning on weekdays.. like tomorrow.
|
|
| it's been 5 years.. well slightly more than that, actually. |
[17 Jan 2008|12:14am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Norah Jones - Don't Know Why |
] |
i miss gold coast, i really do. surfers paradise, in particular. 3 times i've been there, and every single time it leaves me wanting for more. and the theme parks too! all the worlds~ ok granted that i don't exactly sit all the rides, in fact i almost don't sit on any of the 'scary' ones, but it still has a disneyland feel to it. the you know in-your-own-fantasy-world feel. in fact it has a more disneyland feel than disneyland itself. not sure a lot of people would agree with me... but honestly i do think the only noteworthy in disneyland then was the indiana jones ride. THAT'S ALL.
but i digress, i still miss that place.. people do tell me its only a good place for a short holiday and once i've had enough fun i'll realize its actually a pretty boring place with an... exceptionally slow pace of life. well, really? at least i would like to stay long enough first to experience that, instead of having that stupid unfulfilled longing each time i leave. ok the next time i go there(hopefully in the coming months if all goes to plan, heh) i'll leave feeling i've had enough. even if it ends up i won't really so much look forward to going back, at least i know i'm ready to move forward to another place... if this makes sense.
honestly at first sight it doesn't look much, just some random apartment buildings facing the sea and this heavily-lit up area called SURFERS PARADISE... oh all along a nice beach of course. but the shitty thing is all the parks are pretty far away(esp dreamworld!) and you really have to drive thru some highway which passes thru what seems to be a lot of 'ulu' places... and seriously the first time i went(about primary 5) i didn't think much of it on the first day. but over the days for SOME REASON it just won me over, and until now i cannot exactly describe what. all i can say is the feelings been exactly the same since, each time i visit. my parents think i'm naive, and some friends i've gushed to think i'm crazy, but seriously... i do think its that good. even the shopping centres.. er ok, thats really going too far.
its probably a combination of the whole laidback-feel, the beach, the food that (surprisingly) suits me, the really spacious apartment and just basically the idea everyone is there to have fun. it probably sounds damnnn naive, but really i just have to go there a few more times.
|
|
|
[12 Jan 2008|05:31am] |
|
its been awhile since i updated... and quite a lot of stuff happened, actually. i've been to new zealand and back, enjoyed almost an entire month of off/leave in december, am a lot closer to ord now(hooray!), and... life suddenly seems very happening, esp the past two weeks. =P
oh, new zealand was boring. think i've said this too many times to too many people... so it really feels abit retarded to type it here all over again, heh. but next time i'm going overseas with my family, i'll try to psycho them in travelling with a tour group. for a change. i've always hated going on tours since.. oh i don't even rmb when, but i was almost yearning for it then.
actually its not that bad la, just that i was incredibly bored. heh.
i would type more...except i'm really sleepy now, so just gonna end here, zzz...
|
|
| unbelievable... |
[01 Dec 2007|11:48am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Lily Allen - Alfie |
] |
i actually find myself missing crescendo....omg. this is so ironic, its got to be the weirdest thing tts happened to me in a long while..
ah, life is exactly the way its supposed to be post-crescendo. i pray i'll never get bored of bumming around my house, this is pretty much the way i want it now. haha.
|
|
| back... |
[29 Nov 2007|01:58am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Colbie Caillat - Bubbly |
] |
i'm still feeling the after-effects of thailand...not that it was bad, on the contrary much better than i thought actually, but its still a pretty uncomfortable feeling. really glad to be back, but having to adapt to sg living conditions again, coupled with the release of lots and lots of waste accumulated over the last 16 days...ok im not exactly suffering, but things still feel pretty surreal, the when you're recovering from some illness kind of surreal.
(it gets abit disgusting from here, so...at least you have been warned)
its not like i didn't shit at all in thailand ok. i did, but it was barely enough to survive the next day. i wasn't exactly aware of this, until i came back last night. and dear god i never filled the toilet bowl so much before. and it happened again this morning. twice. so much till my ass hurt. for some stupid reason my body refused to release any...'waste' more than necessary in thailand, and while i generally felt ok was still amazed at how much crap i could contain. well, at least i'm back to normal now. if at a price. ouch..
and the weather! everytime i return to sg i get reminded of how humid it actually is here. such a lousy feeling, everytime i leave the airport. thailand, for all the below-sg-standard living conditions, had much better weather, but i guess you don't really feel it. until you return. haiii. oh! i even felt weird bathing using sg water, although its supposed to be cleaner. 15 days, i must have really grown used to thailand these 15 days. except for maybe my tummy, which could have exploded if i had stayed any longer. heh.
i remember ranting to a lot of people how suay i was to kenna thailand for my overseas exercise, and complaining how much i dread going there...how on earth was i going to survive the living conditions...hmm. well i guess i can take most of it back now. thailand was fun, and am really glad i went now. i still don't miss that camp, and there are more-than-forgettable experiences in the toilets, but it was still pretty good overall... like how although all of us had to squeeze into one bunk it was still surprisingly cozy, and while lok cok still way cleaner than i thought. and the canteen! haha, who can forget that. did practically all my shopping there! its even better than some of the shopping malls, heh. at least, i was counting down the days happily. not like, you know, dying to go back cuz i was suffering in hell. so it all turned out well. thankfully.
slept extremely little though, for some reason. so let's see, if theres such a thing as sleep debt, and i add 2 hours for each day i spend there....i think i can probably sleep all of my off days away. not that i mind of course. haha.
anyway, glad to be back! now that im finally used to local weather and general living conditions again, maybe its not so bad. i figure i still cannot live without air-con though, heh. haha. >_<
|
|
| a shining star! |
[10 Nov 2007|11:42pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Missy Higgins - Steer |
] |
oh good lord, stardust was brilliant. almost made me wish stars were really human and i could marry...ok i'm getting carried away. but its really good, seriously. already wanted to watch it the first time after i saw the trailer(which was really eons ago) and although the movie was rather different from the trailer...well was still pretty unforgettable anyway. heh. haha.
after paris hilton i thought all blondes were really like the blondes depicted from the, er, 'blonde jokes'. now claire danes has me almost admiring them. ok maybe gwyneth paltrow too, but i digress. i don't think claire danes is drop-dead pretty, exactly, but omg shes so elegant! so refined! so...shiny. well in the movie anyway. and speaking of stardust... the fact that it won me over despite its ridiculous notions(a star in human form? a magical kingdom beside england?! wtf??) means it must be pretty good. its logical in a warped sense, and at the very least sticks by the very rules that it makes. so in that sense there isn't really any major loopholes. and once you get that out of the way, the story is really quite cool...and wraps up really nicely too. im really a sucker for happy endings...=\ haha.
and thats not the best part. thought it was pretty cool how the whole movie really feels like a fantasy epic, almost perfectly balancing when to be serious and the light-hearted moments. stardust has almost everything! action, comedy, romance, a bit of suspense all rolled into a magical fantasy setting. especially liked the dead princes bantering...and how each one died and slowly joined them, hahhaha.(for those who haven't watched, i'm really not revealing anything) the comedy's not exactly the slapstick kind either, heh. well i don't exactly know how to review movies, but for those who haven't...go see it! i don't think you'll regret, really.
ah one thing the movie taught me; hair is really really important. take good care how you style it...i almost thought it was a different actor halfway through stardust. for the better, of course.
|
|
| i can be such as ass sometimes |
[08 Nov 2007|01:19pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Luciano Pavarotti - Largo al factotum |
] |
hmm...i guess you know you're pretty popular when your platoonmates just smile despite you telling them you were slacking in the office throughout the entire time they were doing area cleaning, haha. wha lau, bloody bhb.
ok, i really hope those smiles were genuine. =S
p.s. i do do my share of the work usually, but sometimes i'm just embarassingly lazy. oh my i really deserve a scolding, if my campmates bitch about me behind my back, its only deservedly so. haha.
|
|
| nothing better to do |
[05 Nov 2007|03:15pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
LeAnne Rimes - Nothing Better to Do |
] |
after last week's er, 'hell week', i promised myself to stay home as much as possible over the weekend. which i did, and immensely proud of it too. i even pontanked going to my grandmother's house, heh. ok, maybe not so proud now..
so i had a lot of time...none of which was put to productive use. what i did do though, was check movie reviews, get updated on the latest gossip...read actors' biographies and watch the occasional movie on hbo. highly satisfying, although by now i already cannot remember most of it. i wonder if everyone else's weekend is this placid, or boring.
anyway i discovered a few things that i find personally border on the ridiculous. for one james franco auditioned for the role of spiderman and lost the lead role to tobey maguire.. wtf?! i simply cannot believe this. when i first saw spiderman already decided james franco wld make a much better spidey than tobey 'wimpy' maguire, but thought nvm maybe they cldn't find someone suitable and franco just wanted to play green goblin. but he actually auditioned for it?! argh, what were the freakin' producers thinking?! yeah ok tobey is admittedly perfect at playing underdog roles, but spiderman has been my(and god knows how many others) hero since young, and well at least they could have made him 'cooler'. omg, why? i thought he was good in seabiscuit, or even wonderboys, but he freakin' messed with my idol man.
oh bloody hell. yet it seemed practically everyone else liked the movie spiderman, so i'm probably bias i guess. but i'm pretty sure james franco could have pulled off 'peter parker' as well. there's probably a reason why the producers are producers and i'm not, but if they read the comics...well spidey definitely didn't look half as wimpy as the film. or the cartoon for that matter.(cartoon version of spiderman is the one i grew up with) didn't anyone watch annapolis? supposedly critically-panned yet i think james franco(who starred in it) did a pretty good job of a navy cadat struggling to overcome the odds. of course he's good-looking, but definitely sensitive enough too to pull off multi-layered performances. and he sure as hell isn't wimpy. argh, screw you tobey, sam raimi...whoever else was in charge.
and secondly, jay-z. i first saw him on mtv...and am i the only one who sees this, but how come this ugly shit who could give shrek a run for his money is one of the most popular music artists in the world? why, huh?! against my better judgement i downloaded his songs just to see how good he really was, and omg YUCK. only one i thought ok was 'umbrella', and that had rihanna.(wait i don't even think he sang) wtf is wrong with the world man! also he's dating beyonce knowles, omfg. i can't go on really, its too painful. maybe its a bit sour grapes here, but you don't see me saying anything about eric clapton, brad pitt or george clooney right. grr.
i guess there are other things, but these two stand out the most, and indignant as i feel, at the end of the day its still none of my business. haha.
oh ya did i mention liverpool drew? fuck, man.
|
|
| bored. |
[05 Nov 2007|02:38am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel Eyes |
] |
figured now is probably as good a time as any to rant...i mean, update. took mc tmr so am still at home now on a sunday night. tmr's gonna be pretty lonely(since everyone is either in camp or busy studying for exams, ord personnel screw you), but no regrets! heh.
whenever i blog...it can't be anything good la. if i'm happy i'll be too busy celebrating or enjoying myself or doing whatever it is that's making me happy to actually update. so please i'm really not so an emo person, it just happen that when i write anything here it's a combination of boredom, angst, and probably a lot of brooding as well. so stay away! i'm still making this entry public to gain a bit of sympathy(haha), but its not my intention also to ruin anybody's day, really.
actually i don't exactly know what i'm upset about, or at least don't really know how to put into words. a combination of feeling lost, slightly bitter, isolated, resigned is probably the best way to sum it up. and i was supposed to be happy-go-lucky. well i want to be, but some things just...weigh me down, and its not like i have a choice. maybe things are finally looking up, but it's taken a lot of energy to overcome the initial struggles, and i'm not sure how much will i have left to continue. good lord i'm not some war veteran who can take any shit, just a spoilt little brat man. of course growing up is never easy, and i am lucky not to be burdened by financial and family problems, but when you're all alone and have to fight certain battles with yourself you know you may never win, aiyah the feeling just sucks la.
probably no one would get this, but it doesn't matter. and writing it out is only slightly therapeutic...still nothing has been solved. and sometimes i wish i wasn't just by myself. the day i start confiding in my sister...wha, i shudder just thinking about it man. she's only 10 now, for god's sake. aye, how...how..
i don't even want to read again what i wrote earlier, will probably cringe. but heck la, just going to post this anyway. actually i do feel a little better now, except at the cost of an embarassing entry. =S
|
|
| -almost- free as a bird now |
[16 Sep 2007|04:51pm] |
|
as certain people may know, i have described this feeling as akin to how a drug addict may feel about kicking his drug habit. well, i'm a step closer now, so hopefully everything goes well, heh. i'm just an innocent twenty year old k...haha.
oh another note, i can finally smell ord coming! okok so 90% of everyone else ords in november, but i'm entitled to rejoice a little myself, i think. sooo long, and its finally here. and whats better i collect my pink ic the day before chinese new year, i can already imagine myself grinning during reunion dinner now. heehee.
but thats still pretty far away, and theres stupid crescendo in between, so i'll just have to bear with it first(crescendo! omg). meanwhile theres still four and a half months left...pretty soon now! in retrospect i guess it has been fun...sometimes, has admittedly changed me for the better, and to quite a large extent now understand why you make your lifelong friends in army, but BOY AM I GLAD TO LEAVE. its going to take me all my willpower to not scratch my csm's car on 6th february come next year, though.
lifes pretty good, well almost pretty good anyway. watched an incredible of movies recently(actually for the past 4 months), and watching south park on youtube. oh it so rules, too bad they don't sell those in singapore, or maybe im not looking hard enough. oh well theres enough entertainment to keep me going now i guess. i've finally graduated from just reading gossip magazines, hooray.
to those who are ord-ing earlier than me....don't comment. or at least not abt ord-ing anyway, haha.
|
|
| a moment of silence please haha |
[28 Jun 2007|12:24am] |
|
My birthday wish this year is simple....although also pretty sissy, quite embarassing and somewhat bordering on pessimism. So I probably wouldn't put it up here at all. I guess you could ask me personally, if you're interested.
Hmmm....on a brighter note this year's birthday will probably be celebrated in much better spirits, as compared to er the previous year's. ;)
Okay, officially not a teenager now. For the final time....don't let me fuck up again, please.
(For examples of 'fucked-up-ed-ness' please refer to a lot of previous entries)
Oh urm it's also about this time I realize how important my family really is, so...thanks family!(It's really too mushy to say each name individually. Still not used to this kinda thing, although they won't every read this anyway) I mean they were always important, but...er...let's just say I appreciate them more now. Part of the whole helping-me-grow-up-by-giving-me-the-support-when-necessary thing.
And of course everybody else! I'm afraid to name names for fear of leaving out someone, but ya you guys know who you are, and yeah I really appreciate it!(hahahhaa damn cheapskate I know)
So I'm still a year away from doing certain legal stuff, but 20 feels pretty big. I just want to live up to it, and really start growing up now. There's no more excuses this time, I guess.
|
|
| what a bunch of crap |
[02 Jun 2007|03:19pm] |
|
I sincerely believe in sex after marriage. I also believe in sex before marriage...and during.
The above was totally original ok, I didn't rip it off anywhere, honest! It does sound kinda familiar though.
Hmm. =\
Also, despite what...practically every single other movie critic say, I still do think POTC 3 is quite bloody brilliant. Yeah, really... and ending was pretty neat especially. Near expected it to be like how the matrix trilogy turned out(meaning crap), but thankfully it wasn't to be(although others may still think so). Ahahaha and for those losers who left early before the end credits, there -was- an extra scene after that. Hahaha SUCKERS.
That pretty much sums up a tired day(its only 3pm).
|
|
| pretty lame stuff |
[01 May 2007|12:47am] |
Ok this is pretty lame shit...but I guess there's a first time for everything. So yeah, here you go. The very first quiz I'm putting here(hopefully not that many more will come).
| The Keys to Your Heart | 
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
coldwinds's journal